What Do You Do When The Scary Dies?

Pee-wee's Big Adventure (1985) - Now that's scary!

     It's a sad fact that most lifelong horror movie fans become inured to the machinations filmmakers employ to scare them.  We grow too jaded to be frightened.  Would we continue to watch comedies if we never laughed?  Probably not.  We soldier on, though, hoping against hope that the next horror movie we watch will be the one that brings the scary back from the dead.

     I believe many of us resort to living vicariously through the terrified responses of the straights in our lives to the movies that long ago ceased to scare us.  It's one of the primary reasons we have a compulsion to share our favorites.  There's no true altruism there, just a selfish need to enjoy a scare once removed rather than no scare at all.  If our victims become fans themselves, so much the better.  Still, what we're really hoping for is to see our friends and family completely lose their shit in a fashion that we no longer can.  I've been on the receiving end of this dynamic, too.  Good ole Large Marge giving Pee-wee Herman the scare of his life in Pee-wee's Big Adventure traumatized me, and I know my friend Jeff subjected me to that as payback for all of the times I'd exposed him to horror movies for my own twisted gratification.  Payback is truly a bug-eyed, truck driving bitch.

Creepy creepin' crud  - The Bay (2013)

     We try to bring the scary back by looking for it in previously unexplored avenues, as well.  Fortunately, the horror genre is stuffed to the brim with sub-genres.  I'm forty-three years old, and I'm still never at a loss to find a heretofore unexamined offshoot.  I've found many noteworthy little gems just by deigning to explore sub-genres against which I've fostered prejudice.  I don't like vampire movies, but Let The Right One In (2008) is one of the finest movies - horror or otherwise - that I've seen in the last decade.  I'm suffering from pronounced zombie fatigue, but Pontypool (2008) spins those hoary old zombie movie tropes into one of the most mesmerizing films of its type I've ever seen.  The found footage sub-genre is pretty threadbare, but it can still occasionally offer up effective chillers like Europa Report (2013) and The Bay (2012).  The scary may be on life support, but there are signs of life if you look hard enough.

Alone in the dark . . . or not -  [REC] (2007)

     The cruel irony, of course, is that the wider the swath we cut across the horror landscape, the more difficult it becomes to keep turning up more scares.  It becomes increasingly difficult to find something we haven't already seen before.  A buddy at work suggests a pefectly solid little time waster he saw on cable the night before, and we're obliged to assure him that the flick he enjoyed so much is in fact just a rip-off of movie X, Y, or Z.  Even worse, we might be obliged to tell him that his "find" is actually a rip-off of a vastly superior foreign made original.  Aren't they always?  You might have the satisfaction of pointing your buddy toward [REC] (2007) after he ran across Quarantine (2008) on Netflix streaming, but you've only taken another step toward becoming the resident "horror guy".  Your appreciation of horror movies has become largely academic.  You can no longer watch any new movie without automatically assessing its relative merit as compared to two or three similar movies that came before.  You've become a purely critical viewer.  You'll never be scared again if you can't allow yourself to be entirely in the moment when watching a new flick, but once you've become aware of the nuts and bolts used to construct a cinematic scare, you'll always see it coming.  What's a fan to do?

Shaggy and Scooby were always scared, right?  Must work.

     Some of us resort to having a few drinks to enhance viewing.  Unfortunately, beer, wine, and liquor all have roughly the same affect.  Though tying one on can boost the appeal of a campy stink bomb, it also dulls the senses and destroys focus.  It's hard to be scared by a movie if you're too blotto to know you're supposed to be.  I've also heard tell of fans smoking pot to achieve an opposite effect by sharpening focus to keep themselves completely in the moment.  I have it on good authority that this disables critical faculties while heightening attention to detail.  Though Movies At Dog Farm would of course never advocate any kind of illegal activity, it seems to me that just might work - as long the viewer doesn't fall asleep first or break the spell by pausing the movie to forage for some nachos.

     So what do you do when the scary dies?  Don't panic.  Just wait for it.  You see, I'm pretty sure the scary never actually dies, it only plays opossum.  It's still alive, taking shallow breaths and lying motionless, luring us into a false sense of security.  Then, when we least expect it . . .

     Boo!  Scary happens.  Crisis averted. 

Noteworthy On Netflix - 8/22/13

     Since we've been revisiting some neglected regular features recently, it seemed like a good time to take another look at the movies available on Netflix streaming.  These are by no means the only worthy genre movies on Netflix, just a sampling of movies that I'm familiar with that I think might otherwise be overlooked.  I've included a couple of newer releases this time that I've yet to watch because I was pleasantly surprised to find them available already.

     Availability changes often, but all of the following titles were available to stream from Netflix at the time of this posting.  The genre listed after the title (Documentary, Horror, Comedy, Foreign, Action & Adventure,  or Sci-Fi & Fantasy) describes where you'll find each movie in your onscreen groupings.  Try doing a manual search if one seems to be missing.

     If you have recommendations of your own, please share in the Comments section below.  You can check out a trailer for each entry by clicking the title.


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The Bay (2012)
Horror, Sci-Fi & Fantasy / 1hr25min / R / HD

     Veteran director Barry Levinson said this depiction of a deadly outbreak of mutated isopods was 80% true.  If so, we have yet another great reason to stay out of the water.

     Anchored by a great deal of 100% true factual information regarding the pollution of the Chesapeake Bay, Levinson's eco-horror makes effective use of the found footage conceit to lend credence to his fictional narrative.  The fact that such an outbreak isn't entirely implausible makes for a genuinely creepy and compelling thriller.  Watch this and then Google search images of the real-life beasties this story is based upon.  I guarantee you'll be skeeved out.

     The Bay slipped beneath a lot of radars, but it's easily one of my favorite genre movies of the last year or so.

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Antiviral (2012)
Sci-Fi & Fantasy / 1hr47min / NR / HD

     Regulars here at the Dog Farm know of my affinity for the films of director David Cronenberg, so I was thrilled when I heard his son Brandon was tackling thematically similar material for his directorial debut.  Antiviral tells of a celebrity obsessed near future when customers pay to be injected with pathogens collected from ill celebrities in a bid to feel an intimate connection with the stars they admire.

     Icky, yes, but Cronenberg effectively examines this notion with an appropriately cold and clinical eye.  Clearly, he's his father's son.  Watch Antiviral in the company of someone with whom you wish to swap bodily fluids, and you probably won't be in the mood afterwards.

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Mad Monster Party (1967)
Comedy, Horror / 1hr34min / NR / Standard

     What do you get when you mix Rankin/Bass stop motion "Animagic", the voice talents of Boris Karloff and Phyllis Diller, and character designs by EC Comics artist Jack Davis?  Well, you get the gloriously dated and infectiously fun creature feature Mad Monster Party.  It's mild enough for the kiddies, and the grown-ups will get a kick out of hearing Karloff - not Bobby "Boris" Pickett - croon his own musical number.  This monster rally is a no-brainer for Halloween, and it was a well kept secret to me until only a few years ago. 

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Errors Of The Human Body (2013)
Foreign, Sci-Fi & Fantasy / 1hr42min / NR / HD

     Here's one of those recent releases I was surprised to find streaming already.  I've not seen Errors Of The Human Body yet, but haunted genetics researchers and lethal viruses sound promising.  This made a splash at Montreal's Fantasia Festival as well as Austin's Fantastic Fest while touring the festival circuit last year, with many critics singling out an impressive performance by star Michael Eklund.  Love that title . . .

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[Rec] 3: Genesis (2012)
 Foreign, Horror / 1hr20min / R / HD

     I'll cop to being disappointed with [Rec] 3: Genesis when I first saw it last year, but I now realize I was judging this second sequel to a harrowing original as the movie I wanted it to be, not the movie it is.  While it still exists in the same world as the first two movies, [Rec] 3 drops the handheld camera conceit utilized in the first two after only twenty minutes or so.  It then becomes a more traditional horror movie that's still more entertaining than most.  Had [Rec] 3 gone by any other name, it probably would have been more warmly received by horror fans, myself included.  Hey, everyone loves Halloween III: Season Of The Witch now, right?

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 Super (2011)
Action & Adventure, Comedy / 1hr36min / R / HD

     James Gunn wrote and directed this tonally odd movie about Frank Darbo (Rainn Wilson) assuming the heroic identity of The Crisom Bolt and later taking on Libby (Ellen Page) as his sidekick Boltie.  Sounds a bit like Kick Ass, huh?  Don't be fooled.

     Super takes an often disturbing look at the psychosis that underlies the compulsion to fight crime as a costumed superhero.  It also addresses - finally - the largely unexamined sexual component of a hero's relationship with his sidekick.  Had Gunn not allowed his bad guys to become so cartoonishly broad (his Troma roots are showing) he could have had a grim and pessimistic winner.  As it is, Super is a flawed but fascinating spin on the superhero origin story that still deserves more exposure than it's gotten.

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YellowBrickRoad (2010)
Horror / 1hr40min / R / HD

    Ambiguity has its place in the movies, but there's a fine line between "ambiguous" and "obtuse for the sake of being obtuse".   YellowBrickRoad has a great setup - the best thing about it, so I won't ruin it here - but it ultimately becomes so frustratingly vague that it's hard to still care much by the time it meanders to its spectacularly unsatisfying denouement.

     Why am I recommending it then?  Well, that great setup as well as a haunting, off kilter tone save it from being a total loss, and it's hard to fault the filmmakers for obviously striving to make something a little different.  I'd be curious to hear how it strikes others.  Movies are a visual medium, and much of what I saw in YellowBrickRoad has stuck with me.  That's gotta count for something.

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The Devil's Rock (2011)
Horror / 1hr26min / R / HD

     I pretty much said all I have to say about The Devil's Rock here.  It's a solid little horror movie that aims a bit higher than most.  It's not the campy shlockfest that the unfortunate key art to the left suggests.  The Devil's Rock is a good one for the wee hours of the morning.

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The Last Will And Testament Of Rosalind Leigh (2012)
Horror / 1hr20min / NR / HD

     . . . and here's yet another pithy entry, since The Last Will And Testament Of Rosalind Leigh is the other movie on this list that I haven't watched yet but was surprised to find streaming already.  Written and directed by Rue Morgue Magazine founding editor and president Rodrigo Gudino, it seems to be dividing viewers right down the middle.  I usually find that movies with sharply divided critical response are worth a watch if only because that's pretty much a guarantee that at least it's not vanilla.  Gudino has been stumping for this in the pages of Rue Morgue for a long while now - it's the cover story this month - so my curiosity is piqued.

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Galaxy Of Terror (1981)
Sci-Fi & Fantasy / 1hr21min / R / Standard

     Yes, this is that Galaxy Of Terror, the Roger Corman production that's home to the infamous trimmed-to-avoid-an-X "Taaffe O'Connell raped by a twelve foot long maggot" scene.  If that's not enough to make it a must see, check out the B movie cast to die for:  Erin "Joanie Cunningham" Moran, Ray "Mr. Hand" Walston, Robert "Freddy Kruger" Englund, and Sid "Captain Spaulding" Haig.  How about the fact that future super director James Cameron was the Second Unit Director and Production Designer?  No?  Geez, people, what more do you need?

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American Scary (2006)
Documentary /1hr31min / NR / Standard

    American Scary is a documentary about the history and legacy of the horror movie hosts like Zacherley, Svengoolie, and Vampira that once littered the broadcast television landscape.  Filled with interviews and vintage clips, American Scary catalogs nearly sixty horror hosts, as well as providing commentary from talking heads like Forrest J. Ackerman, Bob Burns, Joel Hodgson, and Tom Savini.  Damn, but I love me some horror documentaries!

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John Dies At The End (2012)
Horror, Comedy / 1hr39min / R / HD

     Did I save the best for last?  I had a blast with John Dies At The End, although the person I watched it with thought it was a huge waste of time.  She's wrong, of course.

     Admittedly, though, I have a huge appetite for the brand of cinematic goulash that director Don Coscarelli serves up so well.  If Phantasm V is never going to happen - and why isn't it? - I'd be happy to make due with a second chapter in this universe.  John Dies At The End was the first movie I'd seen in a long while that made me think, "I'd really like to see a sequel to that."  Fingers crossed.

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Movies At Dog Farm Trailer Park: Volume 1, December 2012

     This is just a quick round-up of recently viewed movies, as well as a handful of titles I'm looking forward to.  Click on any title for a link to the pertinent trailer.  Click thumbnails to enlarge pics.

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     I watched Silent Night (2012) this week - a very loose remake of Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) -  and I really wasn't quite sure what to make of it.  It was more visually ambitious than I expected.  In fact, it was often quite stylish.  Care was taken.

     Unfortunately, I believe it was let down by a script that could have used another pass.  Mostly just a shrug for me.  Here's to hoping that I'll finally find my perennial Christmas horror movie when I watch Rare Exports (2010) on Christmas Day.

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     Though I've seen a handful of exceptionally good genre movies recently - Some Guy Who Kills People (2011), Excision (2012), The Bay (2012) - I haven't really been looking forward to any upcoming releases. Well, that all changed today.

     The first official trailer for Guillermo del Toro's upcoming massive monsters versus massive robots epic Pacific Rim (2013) hit the Internet on December 12th, and I somehow didn't bumble across it until today.  Oh.  My.  God.  July can't get here soon enough.  I was bummed when del Toro's adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft's At the Mountains of Madness fell apart, but it looks like he's still getting his Cthulhu on with these gigantic horrors from the depths of the Pacific.

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     I'm also super excited about American Mary (2012).  Starring Katherine Isabelle (the Ginger Snaps trilogy), this Canadian production wowed audiences at the Toronto After Dark Film Festival.  It premieres theatrically in the U.K. on 1/11/13 with a U.K. disc release following on 1/21/13.  Hopefully, this means we can expect a North American release soon thereafter.  I'm going to do my damnedest to procure a copy of this as soon as possible, and I'll be sure to report back.

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     Haters are gonna hate, but I've been convinced ever since the release of House of 1000 Corpses (2003) that director Rob Zombie has at least one more brilliant movie in him.  I think The Lords of Salem (2012) might be that movie.  It releases 4/26/13.

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     Finally, I read today that director Andreas Marschall's giallo homage Masks (2011) has been procured by Sony Pictures Home Entertainment for imminent North American distribution.  I'd never even heard of this one before today, but the trailer makes it look like it could be the best giallo that Dario Argento never directed. 

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