July 9, 2019

It's Movies At Dog Farm VIII ('Cause I'm Keeping Track Of This Shit Now)

     Yep, Movies At Dog Farm VIII is on the horizon.  Per my resolution in the previously posted Movies At Dog Farm timeline, I'm going to start making a point of recording the dates and titles here to better keep track of the event's history. 

Real spiders are real creepy.  I can already guarantee that the inevitable remake of Arachnophobia (1990) - which will almost certainly be chock full of the finest CGI spiders a bloated budget can buy - won't be a patch on the ass of the original.  Keep in mind that we'll be watching this outdoors, surrounded by literally millions of the little beasties.  What's that you feel crawling up your leg? 

Arachnophobia screens on Friday, August 9th.


Real Haitian zombies, conjured and controlled by voodoo, in the first and last American feature film actually shot on location in Haiti.  The late, great director Wes Craven literally almost died filming The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988).  This one absolutely oozes atmosphere.  You will squirm, and your nightmares will be haunted.  Being buried alive is a primal fear, and Craven expertly exploits that fear like the master he was.

The Serpent and the Rainbow screens on Friday, August 9th.

And now for something completely different... Trey Parker and Matt Stone (South Park) apply their irreverent brand of comedy to the most awe-inspiring big budget puppet show you'll ever see with Team America: World Police (2004).  The only thing not funny about this movie is that its satire is just as relevant now as it was in 2004.  I don't care what anybody says - these guys are geniuses.

Team American: World Police screens Saturday, August 10th.

I swear the political subtext present in Saturday's movies was unintentional.  Thrill to the experience of French director Alexander Aja (High Tension) telling you just exactly what he thinks is wrong with America in his superior remake of  The Hills Have Eyes (2006).  You can count all the horror remakes that surpass the originals on one hand and have fingers left over.  This is one of them.

The Hills Have Eyes screens Saturday, August 10th.

It's relatively new, it was distributed by Troma, and it would have been right at home playing a Times Square grindhouse in the early eighties.  I'm expecting walkouts.  Those that steel their resolves and stick it out will be treated to a truly singular viewing experience.

Undisclosed "Midnight Movie" (2011) screens Saturday, August 10th.

           Friday, 8/9/19      Arachnophobia (1999)                                             
                                              The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988)

     Saturday, 8/10/19     Team America: World Police (2004)
                                              The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
                                              Undisclosed "Midnight Movie" (2011)

The title of that mysterious "Midnight Movie" will be added in after the event.  I don't want to take the chance that someone might Google the title beforehand, thereby preparing themselves for the trauma.  It may well become the first outright bomb ever screened at Phil's.  You heard it here first.

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