July 10, 2014

Why Is Horror Underperforming At The Box Office? Should I Be Scared?

The Green Inferno (2013) poster
Could this be the savior of  the horror box office in 2014?
         Horror on television has never been more popular, and what horror fan isn't happy about that?  The Walking Dead, American Horror Story, Bates Motel, and scores of other genre shows are consuming cable and broadcast like creeping dread.  Horror shows are everywhere, and even more are coming.  In addition to the shows already airing, the coming year will most likely see new ones based upon the Friday The 13th and Scream franchises, as well.  I recall a day a couple of years ago when I read online that new episodes of The Walking Dead and American Horror Story were the two highest rated shows on cable the preceding week.  I never imagined I'd see the day that horror was the most popular thing on television.  I actually got a little verklempt about it.

     You see, I grew up at a time when horror shows on television were watered down and doomed to cancellation.  Unfortunately, even the handful of horror themed shows that stuck - Tales From The Crypt, Monsters, Tales From The Darkside - were of little interest to me.  They were either crippled by poor production values and censorship or, in the case of Tales From The Crypt, just too hokey and simplistic to actually be scary.  Crypt, in particular, always irked me.  Most episodes of that long running anthology were built on the same hoary framework utilized in the old EC comics the series was based upon.  It was a labored set up for a horrific punchline telegraphed far too early in the proceedings to actually be scary or surprising.  Why bother? 

Shane from The Walking Dead
Why, Shane?  Why!?!
     At least now the anthology format has largely been abandoned in favor of ongoing stories with recurring characters and complex narratives.  That sturdier dramatic framework makes it a lot easier to actually care enough about what's happening each week to return for the next.  Both The Walking Dead and American Horror Story whiff the ball almost as often as they knock it out of the park, but I'm sufficiently engaged by both to keep coming back for more. I was actually incensed when The Walking Dead killed off Shane at the end of season two, and I was little bit tickled when Lori bit the dust in season three.  I'm not always happy with the narrative choices the show makes, but I'm not indifferent, either.

     Why, then, when horror is so healthy on television, has it been failing so miserably at the box office?  Granted most wide release horror aims for the lowest common denominator, but even a slow year generally  yields at least a couple of flicks that somehow manage to be financially successful and not blow monkey nuts.  So far this year, Oculus is as close as we've gotten, and even that ended its domestic run with a relatively modest $27 million.  That's a great return on a $5 million dollar budget, but it's chicken scratch compared to the $137 million The Conjuring scared up last year.  What's even more disheartening is that I don't see anything on the horizon likely to turn the tide.

Dracula Untold (2014) poster
Why, Dracula?  Why!?!
     The Purge: Anarchy (releasing July 18th) seems like a sequel no-one really asked for to an original that, though financially successful, left many viewers underwhelmed.  Annabelle (October 3rd) seems promising, but am I the only member of the audience getting a little burnt out on all the ghost stories?  That's precisely why I couldn't care less about Jessabelle (August 29th) or Paranormal Activity 5 (October 24th).  I'm not very enthusiastic about yet another retelling of the Dracula tale, either, so Dracula Untold (October 17th) is also a pass.  I'm more interested in Eli Roth's cannibal movie The Green Inferno (September 5th) than anything else scheduled for release in the back half of 2014, and that's mostly just because I haven't seen anyone take a stab at a cannibal movie for a while.

     If it turns out I'm wrong about any of these upcoming releases I'll gladly eat crow, but things are looking pretty grim to me.  I know better than to fret prematurely about the death of the horror genre, because that particular passing has been predicted - and then failed to materialize - too many times in the past.  We will always be scared of something, and some enterprising young filmmaker will always be willing to exploit our fear in hopes of making a splash with an inexpensive first feature. Horror does go in cycles, though, and I'm convinced we're heading for a fallow season.  What do you think?


March 28, 2013

How (Not) To Raise A Psychopathic Child - Things I've Learned From Watching A&E's New Bates Motel

Ad for A&E's new series Bates Motel     It's been difficult to watch a full-length feature film for a while.  There's now a three week old infant in the room  most nights, and he sets the schedules.  His scheduling doesn't include too many ninety minute blocks of downtime, so I've been making due with hour long horror dramas like American Horror Story, The Walking Dead, and A&E's new Bates Motel.  I can almost get through an hour long episode during Gunnar's between feedings nap time.  I'm looking forward to the debut of Eli Roth's Hemlock Grove on Netflix next month, too.  Should I be watching this kind of programming with a baby in the room, though?

     Yeah, I know, it's probably a bit early to be worrying about whether or not the baby is being irreparably damaged by exposure to televised horror programs.  For one thing, he's unable to hold his head up long enough to watch anything.  The only time he displays any neck strength at all is when I'm trying to burp him, and then he seems determined to throw a red-faced skunk eye on me throughout.  He can hold his head up just fine for that.  Still, I know he's cognizant of what's going on around him.  It makes me wonder if immediate and prolonged exposure to this kind of entertainment explains what happened to me . . .

Thom Yorke of the band Radiohead
Thom Yorke of Radiohead - Hey, man, are you OK?
     The baby seems to have an affinity for the music of Radiohead already, and I attribute that to the fact that he heard a lot of Radiohead while still in utero.  If Thom Yorke's solo album calms the baby,  I'm more than happy to store that in the arsenal alongside his swaddling cloth and his Bippy.  Whatever works, right?  Then I'm watching the first episode of Bates Motel - while holding the baby, of course - while onscreen the young Master Bates attends a high school party (wait - what?), and waddayaknow, the music playing in the background is a Radiohead song.  . . . so a young Norman Bates + exposure to Radiohead = Psycho.  And I'm playing the kid Radiohead to soothe him.   Nature versus nurture.  I may as well start collecting small animals for Gunnar to kill.

     Of course, Norman's problems are the result of a far more complex set of circumstances than just the music he hears.  I watched the second episode of Bates Motel last night, and I nearly crawled out of my skin with "eeeew!" when Norman's mother very nonchalantly stripped clothing in front of her teenage son.  Sure, in this case we know this is heading to a bad place, but . . .   Only an hour or so before I'd been holding the baby because he'd been particularly fussy.  I'd finally succeeded in getting him to momentarily settle down and rest, his next feeding was in the warmer, and I didn't want to rouse him unnecessarily before his bottle was ready.  Here's the rub:  I really, really needed to pee.  If I laid him down he would immediately open his eyes and fuss.  Well, I can hold the baby with one hand, and I can pee with one hand, sooooo . . . Don't judge me - I wasn't wearing a diaper.

Norma Bates cleans up a murder scene in A&E's Bates Motel
Norma Bates doing some household cleaning
   Still though, I've yet to enlist Gunnar's assistance in cleaning up a murder scene, so maybe there's still hope.  As long as I continue to tend to those chores solo then everything should be just fine.  That'll also forestall the touching family moment we have prior to disposing of a dead body in the lake together.  As far as I know, Gunnar doesn't yet have a sketchbook full of bondage pics hidden under his bassinet, so we're good there, too.

     I just want the little guy to grow up healthy and happy.  I want the same for young Norman.  Maybe there's hope for him, too.  The show's producers have already made clear that they won't necessarily be beholden to canon based upon Anthony Perkins' portrayal of the character.  Is it possible that we live in a world where the young Norman Bates might somehow escape his dour fate, upbringing be damned?   I actually think that would be weirdly inspiring.  If there's hope for the most psychopathic fictional mama's boy that ever misused the cutlery, then maybe there's a chance I won't do too much damage to the wee baby Gunnar. 

Anthony Perkins as Norman Bates at the end of Psycho
We can fix this, right?


January 16, 2013

Noteworthy On Netflix - 1/16/13

Noteworthy On Netflix banner

     These are by no means the only worthy genre related movies on Netflix streaming, just a sampling of movies that I'm familiar worth that I think might otherwise be overlooked.  You'll notice a television show and a few documentaries in there, as well.  Sometimes a guy just needs a change of pace.

     Availability changes often, but all of the following titles were available to stream from Netflix at the time of this posting.  The genre listed after the title (Documentary, TV Shows, Horror, or Sci-Fi & Fantasy) describes where you'll find each movie in your onscreen groupings.  Try doing a manual search if one seems to be missing.

     If you have recommendations of your own, please share in the Comments section below.  You can check out a trailer for each entry by clicking the title.

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American Grindhouse (2010) poster
American Grindhouse (2010)
Documentary / 1hr 21min / NR / HD 

     Fantastic overview of the exploitation genre.  It's loaded with great clips and features commentators like Jack Hill, John Landis, and Joe Dante.  Keep a note pad handy, because you'll be jotting down titles on your "Must See" list from beginning to end.

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This Film Is Not Yet Rated (2006) poster
 This Film Is Not Yet Rated (2006)
Documentary / 1hr 37min / NR / Standard

      Have you ever wondered how the Motion Picture Association of America decides upon the ratings for all of those movies you watch?  You'll probably be a little aggravated by the answer.  Though it's now a bit dated - the MPAA now allows filmmakers to cite other film's ratings for comparison - this is still a fascinating look at how an elite few decide what is and is not appropriate for the masses.    

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The Monster That Challenged The World (1957) poster
The Monster That Challenged The World (1957)
Horror, Sci-Fi & Fantasy / 1hr 24min / G / HD

     When's the last time you treated yourself to a good, old-fashioned black and white monster movie?  This one features a surprisingly good prehistoric mollusk monster from the depths of the Salton Sea.  I still vividly recall seeing this as a youngster hosted by the Bowman Body on Shock Theater.

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American Horror Story (2011) poster
American Horror Story (2011)
TV Shows / 42min / TV-MA / HD

     The Walking Dead gets more press, but I find American Horror Story more consistently entertaining.  The second season is just now winding up on FX, so Netflix only has Season 1.  If you missed the first season, seize the opportunity to catch up.  I love the idea of making each season a self-contained story arc, and Jessica Lange was awarded both an Emmy and a Golden Globe for her incredible performance here.

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Nightmares In Red, White, And Blue (2009) poster
Nightmares In Red, White, And Blue (2009)
Documentary / 1hr 36min / NR / Standard

     The American Nightmare (2000) - not currently available on Netflix - covered much of the same ground to arguably greater success, but this examination of the evolution of the American horror movie is still worth a look.  Narrated by Lance Henriksen and featuring commentary from the likes of John Carpenter, Larry Cohen, and author John Kenneth Muir.    

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Pontypool (2008) poster
Pontypool (2008)
Horror / 1hr 36min / NR / HD

     If you haven't seen Pontypool and have no idea what it's about, I envy you.  I'm not going to ruin your opportunity to be pleasantly surprised by one of the most original and spellbinding genre movies of the last ten years.  You can thank me later.  Rumor has it we may get a sequel called Pontypool Changes in the not so distant future.  I hope so.  This one was a big crowd pleaser at the Movies At Dog Farm II Pre'Ween Picture Show last year.

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S@Man (2006) poster
S@Man (2006)
Horror / 1hr 24min / R / HD

     It probably sounds like a cop-out, but this exploration of the sleazy underground genre of fetish films is another one you'll get the most from by watching cold.  Even the most jaded horror enthusiasts will likely be skeeved out by the subject matter.

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Sssssss (1973) poster
Sssssss (1973)
Horror, Sci-Fi & Fantasy / 1hr 38min / PG / HD

     This supremely entertaining B-movie gem starring Strother Martin and Dirk Benedict (the original Starbuck!) somehow escaped my notice until last year.  Lots of real snakes add verisimilitude, making Sssssss more squirm inducing than its silliness would seem to dictate.  An incredibly cheesy transformation at the end is the icing on the cake.

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Machete Maidens Unleashed! (2010) poster
Machete Maidens Unleashed! (2010)  
Documentary / 1hr 24min / NR / HD

     . . . and one final documentary, this one exploring the sub-genre of Filipino lensed exploitation and horror movies from the 70's and 80's.  The doc benefits from the specificity of its topic.  Funny and enlightening.  This one will have you digging through the delete bins for heretofore unknown gems, too.

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V/H/S (2012) poster
V/H/S (2012)
Horror / 1hr 56min / R / HD

     V/H/S was probably one of the most polarizing horror movies of 2012.  See it for yourself and decide - is it ambitious and original or over-hyped and tedious?  It has the earmark of almost all anthologies in that the quality of its five segments varies wildly, but at least three of the five segments are solid and unnerving.  I jumped more than once, and isn't that what horror movies are all about?  I love the segment entitled 10/31/98 that closes the movie.

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