June 19, 2014

Movies At Dog Farm Reaches 100 Posts, A Handful Of Which Might Be Worthwhile Reading For Others

"Happy is he who . . . writes from the love of imparting certain thoughts and not from the necessity of sale - who writes always to the unknown friend."

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)


     Maintaining Movies At Dog Farm often makes me feel like a precocious child being indulged by bewildered parents.  Many of my friends and acquaintances don't really seem to understand my compulsion to spend so much of my time curating my own little corner of the web.  Adrienne often catches me surreptitiously scribbling ideas on scraps of paper and teases that I'm writing diary entries.  My co-workers primarily monitor the Dog Farm by way of posts on Facebook and Twitter, where I undoubtedly rank well below the latest grumpy cat pic or dog shaming meme.  Every once in a while one of them will say, "Hey, I saw that thing about that thing that you posted."  Then there's my mother, who thinks I'm some kind of Internet rock star.  Of course that's only because she doesn't really understand anything about the exotic and unknowable land of Internet.   

     The Dog Farm does get visitors from around the world, but many of them land here by way of keyword searches like "farm dog porn."  I always feel bad about how disappointed those people must be when they click on the search result and find a movie blog.  Occasionally I receive a request from a stranger seeking promotion, and I usually end up feeling guilty about that, too.  The Dog Farm has far too little traffic to offer any significant exposure, and so I generally decline. 

     I have a crisis of faith on an almost weekly basis, what Douglas Adams called "a long dark teatime of the soul."  I ponder why I sweat bullets in front of the laptop doing something I'm neither obligated nor compensated to do.  I suffer bouts of paranoia.  I'm certain everyone is whispering about me, as though I'm a cracked but harmless lunatic who believes he's building a rocket to the moon in his basement.  

     I get panicky when I can think of nothing to write about, and I get irritated when I spend ninety minutes watching a movie about which I'm not sufficiently inspired to comment.  I obsess over the tiniest details of my page layout, even though no-one really pays any attention to those details.  I feel obliged to remind myself regularly that I do this primarily for my own gratification and not in the interest of garnering wealth and fame.  It's good, at least, that I have clarity on that point, because nothing that I've done here has made me a dime or landed me on a magazine cover.  

    I'm sure many will see the blocks of uninterrupted text here and immediately bounce, but that's okay.  If you've read this far, you're probably a blogger yourself.  You understand.  Perhaps some of what I've written even struck a chord with you.  If so, that's likely just an indication that you care about what you're doing.  Your willingness to share certain thoughts with the world is commendable and brave.

     If, however, you've read this far and aren't a blogger yourself, you're most likely the unknown friend for whom I've been writing.  I'm pleased to meet you, friend.  Let's discuss movies.  I've got ninety-nine talking points archived and ready.


  1. Brandon,

    Congratulations on reaching the big 100!

    First off, you rank above any cat pic in my book, so rest assured.

    Second, the new look of the wood paneling does make the articles pop more, so keep that around.

    While you may wonder as to why you do something that does not make you money or bring you to new heights of fame, keep in mind that you write, comment, and cringe because you have something to say. Granted, the whole operation does make you happy--that's a given. The real drive comes from having a voice, making an opinion, and learning from others. You do that quite well, and you need to keep that up. If you are meant to be rich and famous from all of this, it will come in time. And when it does come, you need to be ready for it.

    So here's to the next 100 posts, and the thousands after that.

    Dog farm porn? Really? I just got shivers.

    1. "Thousands more posts?" -- curls up in fetal position on floor --

      I think we all harbor that fantasy when we start blogging that we're going to capture the zeitgeist and become The Next Big Blogging Thing - for about a month, until reality comes crashing in. Still, I definitely believe that everyone is entitled to my opinion. I hear tell that money and fame is fleeting, anyway. Besides, sponsorship leads to corruption, right? The Dog Farm has cash-free integrity oozing out all over the place. I have a long history of not going the distance with things, so I'm inordinately proud of this "steaming pile" I've created. It is humbling, though, to realize that many of my visitors arrive here looking for pics of people having sex with dogs (or vice versa?)

      Also, I think the barn door aesthetic is here to stay. I've logged an overwhelming three positive responses versus zero negative ones. Majority rules.

      Thanks for reading.

  2. Congrats Brandon!

    I think everything you said struck a chord with me. And it's always great reading your articles, so thanks for keeping at it.

    I agree with Carl, the new background is great. Also about the 'dog farm porn' search.... yikes. And here I thought getting bombarded with "rape on netflix" searches was unnerving.

    1. I initially had the more creatively disturbing and grammatically unsound "clear x ray picture for long dildo inside woman ass" keyword search, but it seemed like that just ground the post to a halt. I'm tempted, though, to try to photoshop that graphic so the next guy (gal?) won't be disappointed. The Dog Farm aims to please.

      Thanks for your continued support and encouragement.

  3. Congrats on reaching your 100th post. I know how difficult it can be in trying to keep with a site, but Im glad that you do it. Its ok to watch a movie and not write anything about it. Hell Ill go several day without writing anything myself. Just do what you love and dont worry about anything else. Unless someone is chasing you with a knife, then worry about that. Take care Brandon

    1. My rule of thumb: as soon as it start feeling like a job rather than something I enjoy doing it's time to dial it back a bit. I already have a job. The fact of the matter is that if I go for a month without posting anything the world will continue to turn. No-one wants to read an uninspired post that its author posted just because he or she felt it was "due." One of the reasons I rarely post about current movies is because there are already so many bloggers working that beat, and if I'm just going to turn out a post that has nothing to say beyond what's already been said by a dozen other sites, why bother? Current = timely, and likely to generate more hits, but if my heart's not in it that will show in the end result. I'd rather turn out only three or four posts a month that I'm happy with than a post a day about nothing. It still adds up over time.

      The interaction with folks like yourself is what really makes the effort worthwhile, and I've never been disappointed by all the sincere encouragement and support that bloggers offer one another. To this day I've only ever had one unpleasant interaction with another blogger, the exception that proved the rule.

      Thanks, Vern, for being one of the Dog Farm's most vocal and enthusiastic supporters from the beginning.

  4. Congrats, and keep up the great work here! I also read all that text without any breaks or anything! And thanks for adding me to your blogroll, much appreciated :)

    1. Thanks for visiting, Tyson. I'm happy to add you to the blogroll. I think I chose to make this post nearly all text as some kind of perverse challenge or something. Standard blog protocol: short paragraphs, easy to read, lots of pics, stuffed with keywords . . . Well, the paragraphs are short and I don't know many fifty cent words, but this one was mostly "for the faithful". I'm guessing I lost a lot of readers who'd be inclined to visit a genre movie site by kicking off with the Emerson quote. You don't see a lot of American Transcendentalists in horror movies. lol

  5. Congratulations Brandon. I've had another blogging hiatus, which I'm starting to think will become a semi-regular thing. At least I always seem to come back though and when I do your blog is always one I read first.

    Our little blogging worlds are a strange thing to spend so much time in; something you put far more eloquently and succinctly than I could. I guess there will always be some narcissistic element to it all and an 'aren't I clever' itch is satiated whenever some relatively complete stranger tells me they like what I write, but now some three years in I'm more realistic and I've come to appreciate that I write, much like you do, the stuff I write because I like to.

    Anyway, I'm caught up. Congratulations again on 100, always a pleasure to read and I'm interested in this google hang outs idea, though in the UK with UK netflix I'm going to have to put some thought in.

    Also, seeing your pre'ween countdown has scared me more than anything else this last few months. Has another year really nearly gone by again?

    Bottoms up, Steven

    1. Thanks for the kind words, Steven. I need to get some content ready for Pre'Ween. That's the one time of year I like to have several posts stockpiled so I can post regularly and just enjoy the "holiday" and the interactions in the Comments section. I'm hoping to make Pre'Ween a blog-a-thon this year, and I'd be happy to have Watching The Dead participate if you'd like. If Netflix UK has The Stuff, please feel free to figure out the time difference (there is one, right?) and join us on August 10.


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